Report 31/7/19 Altorreal


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Match Report 14: Altoreal Golf (1) 31 July 2019. Well knock me down with a feather! Arriving at Altoreal this week, we must have been full to the brim with optimism based on our extremely good run of results of late. But, nay, nay and thrice nay, it wasn’t meant to be! A number of bleary-eyed members turned up for what was the earliest start of the season thus far! Since we had to have arrived for 8.30, and the majority had at least a forty five-minute journey to the course, it would have meant many had scrambled out of bed around 7 o clock! Something I promised I would never do again since I had retired two years ago! This early start provides today’s first good defence for underachievement! Having played on such tremendous greens last week at Alenda, the poor state of the greens today was likely the second best defence because, if I’m being polite, and everyone knows I am always, the greens were not good! In particular, the holes themselves appeared to have been cut just after the war, and numerous balls ran round the ‘wall of death’ on the edge of the hole to lip out when they clearly should have fallen in. Added to this the fact, a number of holes were ‘crowned’ and the ball stopped on the very edge, or even rolled back. These things made putting a real challenge! The third defence stems from the amount of casual water on the course and especially in the bunkers. Playing out of many of the bunkers was like trying to play from a massive bowl of rice pudding! And on occasions it was borderline if relief should have been taken on fairways where the irrigation system had left vast swathes of wet ground underfoot. So, there you have them! Three ready made defences for under achievement. Even on a good day, there are a number of difficult holes on the course, and none more so than the three holes which commence with the long, uphill, par 5 stroke index 1, hole 11, affectionately known as Cardiac Hill! Followed by the long, narrow, downhill par 4, stroke index 5, which even if you manage to find the fairway, you will need a long accurate second shot over the lake to the right and still need to avoid the bowls of ‘rice pudding’ left and right of the green! If you haven’t packed in and gone home by this stage, you then face the long, dog leg left, par 4, stroke index 3, hole 13, also with a large lake to the front right and a further bowl of rice pudding left of the green. A very difficult run of holes. This stretch of holes was quite likely a contributory factor to today’s underachievement too! So, what were the stats today? The lowest average points score this season was in the Amazon Rainforest at Las Ramblas, 24.8 points. Well, today was the second lowest average with 26.5. The last seven matches have all had an average in excess of 30+ points. Today, no one shot better than their par! Only 27.7 percent of us shot 30+ points. Last week at Alenda, 61.9 percent managed 30+ points. So, everyone down to the range this week! This leads me to the first Shout Out to Fred Bjorling who certainly was the best of the bunch and managed to win the Gold category. This was Fred’s first podium. He also got his second NTP of the season and his 32 points was his best score of the season off 8 shots. Well done Fred. A Big Shout Out to Kristin Palsdottir who managed to gain her third podium of the season and narrowly missed first place by nature of a higher handicap and achieved her third consecutive 30+ points score. Well done Kristin! A Big Up to Brian McMenamin who was playing his first match of the season and achieved his first NTP and the 2’s prize for an excellent putt on hole 5. Well done Brian! A Big Shout Out to four players making returns to the podium. Larry Johnson made his second podium, John Nicholls his third, Kenny ‘Isaac’ Hunter returned for his fourth and King John Eyre his tenth. Yes, tenth. I think I’ll start calling him Voldemort, "He Who Must Not Be Named"! A pen-ultimate Shout Out to Fred ‘Honest’ Kras who managed to avert a serious miscarriage of justice in the prizes when he was listed as second with 31 points but had, in fact, managed a lesser sum. (Did you see I didn’t mention the true score Fred!) Well done! And a FINAL BIG SHOUT OUT to Altoreal for providing an enjoyable round of golf, the buggy and a meal for 25€. Unbelievable! Okay, the meal wasn’t Michelin stars, but it was certainly value for money, and it was served efficiently and in a friendly, civil manner. I hope we can do it again. See you at Font Del Llop next week, 7th August. Altoreal Golf - Winners: Nearest the pins: F. Bjorling 5, L. Johnson 17 Two’s winners: B. Mc Menamin hole 5 Visitor: P. Lamas (30) Silver: 3rd J. Nicholls (30), 2nd K. Palsdottir (31), 1st L. Johnson (31). Gold: 3rd K. Hunter (29), 2nd J. Eyre (30), 1st F. Bjorling (32).